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Is anyone else going through the point in their life where they have no idea what's going on and they don't know where they're going? If you are, is it okay to feel like your world is falling apart, when it may/may not be?

i hate being 20.
Megan, I know you've been reading this. Why don't you just say something already?

I've been trying to get your attention, but there's always someone over, and this is really just between the two of us...so when you're ready, we should talk. This is too out of hand.
My boyfriend, he don't answer on the telephone
I don't even know where the hell he goes
^lyrics are so fitting

I really do give up.

Between school, the roommate, my boyfriend and everything else. I really feel like either getting wasted and doing something stupid, or just jumping out of the window.

I fucking hate people.

I'm done.
i'd love to tell my roommate off right now. Just call her and tell her to go fuck herself.

Honestly, I'm sorry i'm not leigh, and I'm not the roommate that you had your heart set on, but deal with it. Life isn't fair, and you have to grow up and realize this, but then again you won't because you're just going to move out next semester anyways so you can have a room to yourself and you can veg out in front of the tv and have all the random sex you want. Just because, you know, thats what you want, and goddamit, you're going to just that because you're a fucking selfish little twit.

it is not my fault that you lost friends from back home because you can't see or value what's there. Excuse me for having different beliefs and valuing more than Smirnoff and 2397103 fuck buddies because you're too immature to have a decent relationship with any live human being. Don't blame your problems on me or anyone I'm friends with. We have no control over what happens in your hometown, therefore leave us the hell out of it. If YOU have a problem, YOU deal with it.

Another thing, stop making other people do your work for you. Don't demand that a friend do your dishes. Do them yourself, bitch. You have two perfectly working arms and legs, and the kitchen isn't even that far from the room. take responsibily for once, Jesus.

Life isn't fair. get over it, everyone else has realized this. Just because you act like your five does not mean you can avoid this - honestly. And you know what?? If you find this like you find other things because you're nothing but a nosey cunt, I will tell you all this in person. I've been dying to tell you but you're so disillusioned by your ignorance that you don't hear what anyone says.
A - Age you got your first kiss: 13 - seventh grade...
B - Band listening to right now: none at the moment
C - Crush: well...no crush, but amazing boyfriend is good, too :)
D - Day you can't wait for: Saturday - the end of this bad week?
E - Easiest person to talk to: my boyfriend, emmy, my mom (most times)
F - Farthest from home you have been: Canada? Or Virginia?
G - Gummy worms or gummy bears: sour gummy worms - only a dollar at walmart. yum.
H - Home town: the mistake by the lake
I - Ice Cream: Edy's - Mint thin girl scout cookie mint chocolate chip ice cream
J - Junior High: W.O.G.A.
L - Longest car ride ever: 9 hours - virigina beach.
M - Miss: chris, michelle, teressa, whit, lindsay, joe, jimi, corey....my NU-ers...
N - Nicknames: Karlita
O - One wish: my mum to be okay
P - Phobia[s]: bees, spiders, clowns, needles
Q - Quote: hmmm "I love Bob!!" *insert cartwheel*
R - Reason to smile: *sigh*
S - Song you sang last doing karaoke: oh man, i dont remember, but i was in Canada
T - Time of day: 11:28
U - Unknown fact about me: i have a birthmark on my rib cage
V - Vegetable you hate: green beans!!
W - Worst habit(s): ha, many...burping loud...not being very "ladylike" (just ask chris)
X - X-rays you've had: a few
Y - Yummy food: oh man, i want some cheesecake
Z - Zodiac sign: virgo

fuck fuck fuck fuck.

i'm so pissed right now - i could cry.

why does my roommate stress me out so much?
- nights in the hall drinking chai tea
- nights in the hall telling scary ghost stories
- professors who were friends
- my job at NU with Katie and Sarah
- Spanish class...the only male being my professor.
- The candy basket outside of the one professor's door. hehe. happy solstice basket = :-D
- late nights at Denny's
- Canada
- Theatre parties with Pat and Corey
- my birthday...the celebration that lasted about 2 days
- hearing random sex sounds from Nicole and Brooke's room
- Clet Hall Ghost
- Gally
- Dance class with Terri
- Brent Foland
- Being further away from home
- Buffalo
- i hate CHARLOTTE...that is, charlotte, nc. haha, I miss Whit.
- haha, toilet paper and a plunger...

- some friends from home
- class at 11 am
- not getting food poisoning everytime I eat.. (it's only 75% now.)
- bigger dorm
- pranks on people
- cheap tuition
- language department
- chris being able to visit on occasion
- kitchen on the floor
- baking cakes
- midnight runs to walmart
- closer to Pittsburgh
- getting mail from people at NU
- covert bday party

...i dunno i'm in a weird mood today.
I. Seven things I plan to do before I die:
1. Learn to play an instrument.
2. Travel...a lot
3. Live in NYC for a bit
4. Get married.
5. Do much more theatre
6. Own a house that I can decorate like mad.
7. Learn ballroom dancing

II. Seven things I can do:
1. Stay awake for long amounts of time
2. not have stagefright
3. shop on a realllly tight budget
4. Drive places
5. walk a lot
6. sleep
7. fall in love
III. Seven things I cannot do:
1. Be mean to animals
2. Eat meat
3. Play guitar well
4. Do a cartwheel.
5. Sleep early in the night
6. Drive stick shift.
7. go without caffiene

IV. Seven things that attract me to people of the opposite sex:
1. Honesty.
2. when they make me laugh.
3. good cuddlers
4. Blue eyes
5. ...drummers...nuff said
6. intelligence
7. smile

V. Seven things I say most:
1. "wtf?"
2. "umm...riiight"
3. repeating peoples names till they respond
4. "gahhhhh!"
5. "oh god"
6. movie quotes
7. "heeeey"

VI. Seven celebrity crushes:
1. Johnny Depp.
2. ewan McGregor
3. Dave Navarro
4. ...
5. ...
6. ...
7. ...

there are no words to explain how amazing love is.


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Birthday:Sept. 16
Current Location:Edinboro
Eye Color:Blue
Hair Color:Blonde
Height:5'4" -ish
Right Handed or Left Handed:Right handed
Your Heritage:German, Slovak, Irish, english
The Shoes You Wore Today:none
Your Weakness:eyes...i melt.
Your Fears:Needles, spiders, clowns, bees
Your Perfect Pizza:Lots of cheese, mushrooms, olives and tomatoes
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:Uhhh...pass this semester?
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:haha or lol
Thoughts First Waking Up:ugh
Your Best Physical Feature:my eyes?
Your Bedtime:never
Your Most Missed Memory:certain friends
Pepsi or Coke:Pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King:neither
Single or Group Dates:single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:how about just chai tea
Chocolate or Vanilla:twist
Cappuccino or Coffee:both
Do you Smoke:no
Do you Swear:yes
Do you Sing:yes
Do you Shower Daily:yes
Have you Been in Love:i think
Do you want to go to College:i am...
Do you want to get Married:yeah, prolly
Do you belive in yourself:sure
Do you get Motion Sickness:yup, it's gross
Do you think you are Attractive:yup
Are you a Health Freak:kinda
Do you get along with your Parents:my mom, yes
Do you like Thunderstorms:no!
Do you play an Instrument:i sing, does that count
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:haha... 0:-)
In the past month have you Smoked:nope
In the past month have you been on Drugs:ew, no
In the past month have you gone on a Date:yeah
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:yeah, i got my ears pierced again
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:no, but apparently chris wants me to?
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:no
In the past month have you been on Stage:umm do auditions count
In the past month have you been Dumped:no, thank god
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:nope
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:nope
Ever been Drunk:ha, once.
Ever been called a Tease:yep
Ever been Beaten up:nope
Ever Shoplifted:nope
How do you want to Die:peacefully
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:uhh someone who makes money
What country would you most like to Visit:Every country in Europe
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:Blue
Favourite Hair Color:any
Short or Long Hair:eh, doesn't really matter
Weight:come on, everyone who knows me knows my type
Best Clothing Style:whatever
Number of Drugs I have taken:zero
Number of CDs I own:over 200
Number of Piercings:10 - 5 in each ear
Number of Tattoos:zero
Number of things in my Past I Regret:uhh i dont think there is anything